PERSONALITY CRISIS

I’m down to one pair of shoes, and they are staring to hurt. I guess that will keep me off the streets for a bit. My depression-era coal miner boots broke one night while playing an impromptu game of soccer with a piece of the sidewalk that had become dislodged. Half of the sole came off and for the rest of the night it just flopped like a flipper every step I took. On the same street the next afternoon I saw a gang of what are know as the cocaleiros (dealers of coke—I kind of live in a bad neighborhood I guess) doing the same with a very large rat. They couldn’t kick it of course since it was very alive. Rather they sort of chased it between players trying to get it into a small box on either side. When the game was done they stepped on it to (I assume) continue playing the more traditional version of soccer with it. This thing was massive too. I think its teeth were bigger than mine. I declined to join this time. “Not my cup of tea” I said in Portuguese but I guess that doesn’t translate in Portuguese as they all gave me a questioning look. Not that I had anything better to do, but well…not my cup of tea. I truly regret not filming this because it would’ve made an excellent video for this post and my camera actually takes pretty decent videos. My camera is brilliant and my phone (for 20 euros) is incomprehensible but I know if I could figure it out it would be far better than my U.S. one. This is not a problem though since, while everyone in my apartment is texting, calling, and playing Grand Theft Auto on their phones, I have not received a single phone call or text since I got it. Nor have I sent any texts out since all four contacts in my phone live with me and I am constantly with them it seems. This lack of contact can get somewhat upsetting this day in age when the cell phone makes for a great Linus blanket of security when one is in a group but the only one who is not in a conversation. Sending a text message, or even faking sending a text message, says “I too am an intriguing person engaged in profound discussion.”, “I do not need to discuss politics with you, because I am otherwise engaged,” etc. Nevertheless, faking a text message is not an option when everyone around you knows that 1. You don’t know how to use your phone, and 2. Even if you did, who would you be texting except for someone who is, at present, sitting directly opposite you?

I recently had one of the most lucid dreams of my life in which I was standing outside my old high school and, appropriately, talking with a friend who I have hardly seen since high school. We were chatting and from somewhere the song “Personality Crisis” by the New York Dolls was playing in the background and we were discussing the current trends in rock & roll bands revisiting old sounds. We came to the conclusion that the retro sound was accelerating at such a rate and so predictably that after music culture blitzed through the 50s, 60s, 70, 80, and now grunge, brit-pop, it has now become possible to pick up on the next sound with a mathematical equation based on release dates of major albums during the second half of the 90s/ first half of the ots 2000. I woke up to my flatmate knocking on my door and realized I was supposed to be in class at the moment.